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Saturday, July 23, 2005

aw jeez, now what?

The JOB has decided to scrap the database I spent a year working on. I wrote an angry, venting entry on it, but then I remembered that they read this once, and might do again, and I should probably not let them see me annoyed, since I already got in trouble for doing it once. So this is me editing.

I am trying to be fair. I essentially volunteered to work three times my contracted hours, and pay for all the classes and books myself - for all they knew when they asked for it, a database was no more difficult than a popup window. I was basically asking to be taken for granted, and all they did was oblige. It's my fault, and I should just shelve my ego and shut up.

I am not happy with the way things have turned out. R says I must not escalate, i.e., just because L's emails have gotten snippy and superior doesn't mean I should match them. But the thing is, I can't help noticing her change of tone, and I don't know how to pretend I haven't noticed. I wrote cheerful and friendly because I felt that way. Now I don't, and I don't know how to fake it. He thinks I am making a bad choice. I think I'm doing the best I can. I can't lie.

Back when they asked me to translate the site for €7.50 an hour I said no, that is highly qualified work and I don't care to be exploited, thanks anyway. R said I could have put that more diplomatically. I said I don't know how to do this German polite-fiction thing, where you know and I know but we both pretend it's not true. He said that's not just a German thing, you don't say exploit in America either. I've been thinking about that for an hour now, and actually, I think I would. If an American company asked me to do something for $7.50 an hour when we both knew the going rate was closer to $50, I would tell them no. And I would tell them why.

What would you do?

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