...was cancelled. She had a restless night, but she hasn't been fully awake since the Lorazepam kicked in, over 24 hours ago. We heard back from the oncologist about the Tarceva, it's affordable and the side effects sound pretty manageable, so we're going to try it for a month and see if it helps. But clearly we're just buying a few extra months at best. She's dying, we just don't know how fast. A month, two months, maybe even a year.
I was planning to try to get Kilian out here for Easter, but I don't know now. It might be too late. I have to get back somehow, but I'm racking my brain and not coming up with anything. The house needs to be decluttered and sorted and all, and the week I have left isn't near enough time. I should spend more time with her...I dunno. Not thinking too clearly right now. I know I asked myself this earlier, if this is really it and she's actually dying, how crappy will I feel that I only gave her two weeks? CJ said you can't know what's going to happen, you just do the best you can with the information you have, and that was true, then. But I do know now, this really is it and she really is dying. And she deserves more than two weeks.
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