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Sunday, February 05, 2006

two letters from the school yesterday...

Dr.Bob read them, they were upside down to me, so I asked what they said and he rattled it out in German. Um, helpful, thanks. I caught the word "wiederholt", which I think means "repeatedly", and the impression that Ignatz is um, disorganized, often doesn't bring the materials he needs to class, and doesn't complete assignments because he didn't have the right book or something. He has also been moved to a spot in the classroom where no one sits next to him, because he chatters and distracts the others. Constantly, and despite repeated um, whaddyacallits. Hey-stop-thats.

Dr.Bob says the teacher warns the kids that they're getting a letter home, and that Ignatz should have told us. This happens a lot, actually, we think things are going pretty well for him because we haven't gotten any bad news lately, and then bam! (Sock! Bif! Pow!) A phone call, a note from a teacher, something. Always a situation that Ignatz knew about but didn't tell us.

Now. Ignatz In Trouble gets a long lecture from Dr.Bob, who is, let's face it, considerably more, um...intimidating than he realizes. He's big and muscly, and has a powerful scowl, and can talk for a long time about something that has ticked him off. It's not something he wants to hear, so when I try to tell him that he's kinda scary, he tends to shrug it off, or get angry. But Ignatz is a little guy, not given to confrontation of any kind, and frankly? I can see why he wouldn't want to tell his dad. Those lectures are really, really horrible for him. I can also see why he wouldn't tell me, though that's a little different. My main failing as a parent is that I'm completely unpredictable, and he never knows how I'll react. Which is scary in its own way, so as I say, telling us he's messed up again probably never seems like a good idea to him.

Dr.Bob disagrees. The kid gets in trouble anyway, so why wait? Well, I can answer that one. When you have bad news, and you know you'll get in trouble for delivering it, you can find all sorts of reasons to wait. And in fact, we found the letter when we got home from Munich, and Ignatz was safe at the Oompas. Heh. That's the best time to deliver bad news: when you're not in the same town as the person you have to tell.

So anyway. Yet again, the school has contacted us to tell us our son is not doing well enough. I don't know what the hell they expect us to do. Really, if there was anything we could do about it we would have done it a long time ago. But they're all, "Please talk to him..." Hello? Are they seriously suggesting 1) that it's that simple? And 2) that we haven't tried that?


~d (tilde) said...

that whole unpredictable as a parent thing...I htought anti-de[ressants would like even me out or something. And they did-at first and then I like became reliant on them and my 'old' ways came back. Not as full-fledged, but nonetheless. So today I am eating a prozac a day and I have the occassional valium or xanax to counter-balance THAT! I know it COULD be worse. It was worse Nov/Dec 2004...but I dont like being 'dependant' on meds for my moods. BUT! at the same time, at least my family knows I am a bit more predictable this way...( whoa do I sound, ummm...UNSURE! )
Good luck...bounce it off of the proverbial "us". that is why we are here.

Elemmaciltur said...

I think I know pretty well how your son is feeling. I was like that when I was younger...and I'm still like that with a couple of topics. Although it's a different story now that I'm almost 24, so I have my own responsibilities and it's my decision to tell or not to tell my parents.

I really think that you need to talk to Dr. Bob about his reactions. It needs to be made VERY clear that he can be very intimidating....because I know what that was like. My mum is a mixture of both you and Dr. Bob (minus the muscly part). She can be very unpredictable and very intimidating at the same time. Heck, HeWhoMustNotBeNamed's kinda scared of my mum only from my telling. *LOL*